


A Little Piece Of My Heart

by laurelea_f



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Witchcraft, Curses, Fluff and Angst, Kinda?, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:36:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26085055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurelea_f/pseuds/laurelea_f
Summary: Finals were coming up, and it was already taking all of Jeno's energy to scrape an A in Elemental Magic. Plus he still had that Geology lab project to finish. And don’t even get him started on the whole situation with Jaemin – he swore internally, wishing he hadn’t just reminded himself of their argument.In conclusion, he just really, really didn’t have time to get cursed.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> nomin makes my heart go !!! so here's my attempt at a little college adventure with magic and sparkles and curses in the rain.
> 
> i hope you enjoy!!

The thing is, Jeno wasn’t even supposed to find the book, so the universe could’ve just spared him the trouble that followed if everything had happened the way it was meant to. But of course, the universe had to go out of its way to mess with him. 

He’d woken up feeling great despite working until two in the morning to finish up an essay for Professor Oh’s class, an assignment he’d put way too much effort into in hopes of finally securing that top grade for the semester. Then his eleven a.m. tutorial had somehow been miraculously cancelled, freeing up the time for a good lunch with his friends instead of scarfing down a sandwich in between tutorial and the class after. What’s more, Professor Oh had asked to talk to him after said class, complimenting his work and _wonderfully deep insight on the principle of balance and its applications in earth magic._ So, ironically, he’d been having a very good day. 

A glance at the setting sun and the sound of revving engines and honking cars told Jeno that it was already past five when he left the Elementals lab. The chat with Professor Oh had taken way longer than he’d expected. Hoping to avoid the rush hour mess of traffic and pedestrians, he steered clear of the main road leading off campus and veered towards the park just past the Divination department. 

The air was crisp as it swept past him in a light breeze, and he could smell a hint of rain – the type that would bring a fresh, clear sky instead of suffocating humidity, he hoped. He continued down the lane leaving the university, deciding to make an impulsive stop at the campus cafe because _yes I deserve another coffee for that A in Elemental Magic_. It turned out quite a few students had decided to treat themselves in the afternoon too, and the line didn’t seem to want to budge.

By the time Jeno managed to leave the cafe armed with a coffee in hand, the whiff of rain from earlier had collected until the air was heavy and a light drizzle began to fall, one that quickly became a torrent of humidity that pelted down on him. This definitely wasn’t the nice kind of rain he’d hoped for. Jeno swore under his breath as he half sprinted down the road, doing his best to both shield his coffee from the rain and not spill it. 

Skidding on a puddle, he spotted an old book discarded on a park bench in the corner of his eye. Looking back, he wasn’t even sure how he’d seen it through the downpour – it must’ve been some stupid trick of fate. The book looked like any old tome in the university library, an old leather-bound cracked at the spine, its magic something between a faint thrum and a crackle in the air. Some careless student must’ve taken it from campus and left it there. Impulsively, Jeno plucked it up, tucking it under his jacket, thinking that he would return it to the library the next day. A voice in his head called him a lame ass nerd, saving a book when he was already soaked to the bone and should be hightailing it home. That voice sounded suspiciously like Jaemin’s and he felt the corners of his lips tug up into a smile, before they fell back down as he remembered that that same voice had yelled at him through tears a week ago. 

Jeno stumbled into the apartment completely drenched. Grumbling, he dumped his backpack onto the ground and unceremoniously tossed the old book on top of it, toeing off his sneakers. 

“Well, hello sunshine. Don’t you look radiant,” Donghyuck called from the living room, where he was draped over an armchair with his face pressed up against his phone. 

Jaemin and Renjun looked up to the door as well, and Jeno couldn’t help but notice how Jaemin’s smile slipped when his eyes fell on Jeno. Quietly, he got to his feet and walked toward the door. Jeno felt his heart rise to his throat and was unable to take his eyes off Jaemin before the other boy slipped past him, muttering something about “going for a walk.” 

“It’s raining,” Jeno hesitantly called after him, a beat too late, but the door had already been closed in his face. 

Renjun sighed and grabbed an umbrella to chase after his friend. “It’s not your fault,” he said to Jeno when he passed him. 

Jeno breathed out through his nose and tried to ignore the clench in his chest. He wished he could just run from his problems, but he found that a little difficult when his problem lived in the same apartment as him. He just couldn’t deal with this right now. He settled for a hot shower instead, because while rain and coffee were normally comforting to him, he didn’t particularly want to smell like a wet dog someone had dumped coffee beans on. 

Hot water could apparently do wonders; Jeno emerged from his room with the weight in his chest somewhat eased and his head somewhat cleared. He found Donghyuck sprawled on the living room floor with the old book propped up against a stack of ramyeon cups, peeling apart the yellowed pages. Jeno had forgotten about it. He flopped onto the couch behind Donghyuck and turned on his laptop, attempting to get some work done for class. 

“You should talk to him,” Donghyuck said without turning around. Jeno didn’t have to ask to know he meant Jaemin. “He misses you.” _He stormed out of the apartment the moment I came back and has been sleeping around. Yeah, I’m sure he misses me_. Jeno remained quiet, and the only sound in the room was the slight crinkle of pages being flipped. 

“What’s the book about?” he chose to ask instead, after a brief pause. 

Donghyuck tipped his head back to grin at Jeno and Jeno could see the familiar mischievous glint in his eyes. “A bunch of summoning rituals. It’s actually some pretty cool shit, I wanna try this one out,” he said, passing Jeno the tome over his head. 

The musty smell of old parchment wafted towards Jeno. The pages were cramped with spindly handwriting, words written in what looked like Enochian or some other occult language. Jeno could feel the magic of the book in his bones, like the crackling of fire but almost... aggressive. 

“You can read this?” Jeno asked. 

“I picked up some Enochian from Mark hyung,” Donghyuck replied, hoisting himself onto the couch. He pointed to the title of the page, written in a rich midnight blue ink. “That means luck. It’s a luck summoning spell.” He paused thoughtfully and one of his hands rose instinctively so he could nibble on his nails. He then pointed to one of the words in the title. “Okay, I have no idea what this word means,” he conceded, "but the title definitely says luck spell.” 

Jeno raised a skeptical brow, then laughed when Donghyuck snatched the book from his lap and gleefully bounded away towards their storage shelves. Following him, Jeno asked, “don’t you think you should ask Mark hyung what that word means before you go around casting circles?” 

“ _Pfft_ , I’ve got this.” 

“I’m pretty sure last time you said that the house was on fire and Renjun was unconscious,” Jeno pointed out helpfully, returning Donghyuck’s grin.

“Bro, stop worrying, you sound like Mark hyung.” 

And that was how Jeno found himself helping Donghyuck scatter salt in a loose circle on their living room floor, because honestly, what university student wouldn’t want more luck? And Jeno had to appreciate his friend's valiant attempt at distracting him from moping around. Clearing away a discarded deck of tarot cards Donghyuck was teaching himself to use and a bundle of dried sage Renjun had laid out for one of his potions, they lit a few candles and positioned them at regular intervals around the circle – Jeno really hoped they wouldn’t set the house on fire this time. 

Summoning rituals always seemed deceptively simple to Jeno: simple setup, simple materials, simple spells. But he had heard enough of Donghyuck’s 2 a.m. tangents to know that summoning required a resolve different to the one he was used to in his earth magic. It was less about what the words and motions were and more about how one carried them out. 

Jeno watched Donghyuck take his place at the center of the circle, the book opened on his lap. Donghyuck winked at him as he began to murmur the words of the spell. Just like that, the room, already dim from the storm clouds outside, darkened, and the wisps of flame above the candles flickered despite the lack of wind inside their apartment. But the air was far from still. Jeno could feel a hum spread from Donghyuck to the atmosphere around him, a warm, tingly buzz that tickled his spine. Donghyuck continued to chant softly. The words were almost melodic, lilting rises and falls and light cadences, and the sounds danced through the air. 

With a certain grandiose, Donghyuck finished the incantation and looked up dramatically. Jeno felt that distinct disorientation that always accompanied Donghyuck’s magic, the sensation like not having his feet properly planted on the ground. Before he had fully recovered, the room suddenly went darker and the flames of the candles heightened, becoming spires that cast looming shadows. The crackling of the book that Jeno had felt earlier returned, now almost a hissing that made his skin crawl. 

“So.” Donghyuck drew out the syllable, speaking into the dark room, his voice sounding fuzzy above the residual magic. “D’you think it actually worked?”

A stack of books precariously balanced on the arm of the couch suddenly toppled, tumbling to the ground, making both of them jump. Their eyes snapped towards each other, comically widened, and for a moment they stared at each other, frozen. Then, at the same time, they burst out laughing. Between the heaping pressure of all their classes, tests, and part time jobs, Jeno couldn’t remember the last time he just sat and laughed with his best friend. It felt good.

Still grinning, Jeno stood up to clear away the materials. He picked up the book and tucked it under his arm, that faint buzz from it still detectable, then reached for one of the candles. A drop of hot wax fell onto his hand and Jeno hissed, instinctively raising his other hand to frantically wipe it away. The book fell from his arm, landing squarely on his toe. Jeno yelped. 

“I don’t know, Hyuck. I’m not feeling very lucky.”

Turns out they messed up, which, considering they performed a ritual written in a language only one of them could half understand, wasn’t that unexpected. 

“ _Hyung_ ,” Donghyuck whined into the FaceTime call. “But how was I supposed to know that it wasn't a spell that brings you luck!”

“You could’ve, I don’t know, _asked_ me first?” Mark’s face was zoomed in on Donghyuck’s screen as he held his phone close to him to decipher the page of the book Donghyuck was showing him. “That word you didn’t know basically means absorption – it’s literally a luck sucking spell. A curse,” Mark said, squinting through the camera. 

Jeno felt uneasy, the thought of being cursed sitting uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach. “Why’d I get affected though? Hyuck cast the spell.” 

Mark’s face scrunched up with concentration. “From what I can see the caster is supposed to have, like, a subject of invocation in mind when they perform the ritual. Hyuck obviously didn’t know that-" he gave a pointed look then, “so the curse must have rebounded on Jeno.” Mark leaned away so that Jeno could see more than just his eyes and furrowed brow. “I’m sorry man.” His voice had softened and Jeno could detect the sympathy in it. 

“I’ll come by tomorrow after class to see what we can do about this,” Mark continued, "that sound good? Just don’t die in the meantime.” Not ominous at all. He gave a little wave. “Love you, Hyuck,” he added softly with a smile before ending the call. 

“So. _Fuck_ ,” Donghyuck said. Eloquent. “Bro, I’m so so sorry. I swear to God I’ll find to how to break the curse, I’ll look through all the books I have and ask my professors and I won’t sleep until I’ve got it! And Mark hyung’s coming tomorrow! He majors in spells and curses and shit I’m sure he’ll know what to do.” 

“I bet he’s just coming because he misses you,” Jeno said with a laugh to try and lighten the mood, even if his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

If Donghyuck noticed his uneasiness, he didn’t mention it. Instead, he lifted his head from where he’d buried it in his hands and grinned. “I _am_ pretty irresistible. But a stupid curse is a pretty good excuse to come visit me.” His smile fell a bit. “I’m serious though, I’ll help you break the curse, I promise.” 

Jeno gave him a weak smile. He told himself he would be fine – how bad could a little bad luck be? Maybe he’d trip on the sidewalk a bit, drop his phone a few times. He’d be fine. 

Jaemin and Renjun soon returned from Jaemin’s “walk,” and Donghyuck once again launched into his explanation of their dumbassery – technically _Donghyuck’s_ dumbassery, Jeno reminded him. 

The little smile that quirked on Jaemin’s lips when Jeno said that didn’t escape his notice. He’d missed that smile. He also noticed, with a pang, that Jaemin had picked the seat furthest away from him, on the far side of Donghyuck. He quickly averted his gaze when Jaemin’s eyes darted towards his. Shit, had he been staring?

“Why didn’t you just ask Mark before you cursed Jeno?” Renjun asked with disbelief. 

“ _Why didn’t I just_ \- I didn’t understand one word! One!” Donghyuck cried indignantly. “If you found a spell that _ostensibly_ would bring you luck, would you do it?”

“I don’t know what that word means.”

“Exactly!”

“Well I’m not Korean! How would I know what _onsti_ … what that means!”

“Well if you’re not Korean then I don’t read Enochian!”

“You know who _does_ read Enochian? Mark!”

Jeno burst out laughing, and so did Jaemin. Their eyes met again briefly, and Jeno was relieved that Jaemin didn’t stop laughing because of him. Jaemin threw his head back, his grin wide and eyes crinkled, and Jeno almost wanted to pretend that that laugh was because of him. A week ago, it could’ve been. 

“Hyuckie!” Jaemin started to smack Donghyuck on the side of his arm. “Stop being a dumbass! Be more careful!” he scolded playfully, punctuating each word with a smack. 

“Your horoscope said something unfortunate might happen today, Jeno,” Renjun said solemnly. “I told you to be careful.” 

“I didn’t believe you about the aliens or ghosts so I’m not gonna believe your astrology,” Donghyuck cut in, waving his hand around as if dispelling Renjun’s words. “Don’t worry bro,” he said to Jeno. “This isn’t some event fated in the stars. You’ll be fine. Astrology isn’t even proper magic!”

“You can literally major in astrology,” Renjun reminded him with a laugh. 

“Pseudoscience!” 

His friends’ bickering definitely helped Jeno ease the weight of the idea of being cursed, but it was a little hard to forget about his predicament when he felt that crackling sensation from the book rise again, like the air was filled with static electricity. Despite being sat squarely on the couch, he somehow lost his balance and accidentally kicked the coffee table. The crystal ball they’d put on it – for decoration purposes more than academic use – tipped precariously, then rolled towards the edge of the table. Jeno and Donghyuck both lunged for the glass ball and managed to stop its momentum before it fell and shattered. 

The four of them collectively sighed, but their relief was short-lived, as Donghyuck accidentally elbowed Jeno in the process, causing him to lose his balance for the second time in the same minute, making him fall to the ground. The impact somehow made one of the pots on the ground, the ones Renjun had set out so that their contents could cool, topple over, its purple goopy liquid spilling onto the ground. 

They looked at each with a stunned silence. Jeno saw the panic in Renjun’s eyes because he’d probably just ruined his Potions project, and was grateful that his friend didn’t yell at him. “It’s not your fault,” Renjun said instead, haltingly, mournfully staring at the remains of his work. 

“Wow, you’re really cursed,” Jaemin said. It was probably one of the first things he’d directly said to Jeno all week. 

Jeno sighed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stars in your eyes and magic at your fingertips.
> 
> i hope you like this so far! feedback and any comments are always appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeno is truly, truly cursed.

The traffic light blinked from red to green and the morning bustle of cars screeched to a halt. Jeno looked both ways, then looked again, more carefully. It had been hard to readjust even the smallest of his actions to accommodate the possibility of dying from some stupid unlucky event. Since the afternoon before, he’d had to walk more carefully to avoid tripping, hold his belongings tighter so he wouldn’t drop them. He had mostly been fine until he almost spilled a pot of boiling water on himself. It was becoming harder and harder to remind himself that a little bad luck was nothing, but still, the curse seemed to be no more than an inconvenience. 

He took a step forward, and the moment he left the sidewalk, he felt the air suddenly thicken with electricity, that now-familiar, overbearing crackling filling the atmosphere around him. 

Maybe he’d tried to cross the street when the timer only had a few seconds left to it, maybe the driver of the car hadn’t been paying attention to the road. Ultimately, it didn’t matter because either way, Jeno ended up sprawled on the asphalt. The impact wasn’t what he’d expected, less of a sickening slam of metal and glass and more of a forceful shove. He was knocked back onto the ground, his elbows scraping against the road and his back meeting the ground hard. His head snapped back, but he was lucky enough to avoid hitting it on the asphalt and getting a concussion. Maybe the curse had some mercy left in it. 

Head ringing and pain burning at his everywhere, Jeno shakily got to his feet with the help of some nice old lady passing by. The poor driver of the car looked scared senseless – understandably, he almost killed some dumbass. Jeno endured the scolding the two police officers that arrived gave him, and wondered in a daze if he would be seeing them again in the near future, if his dumb curse held up. 

Jeno made it through the rest of the day mostly unscathed, save for a few scrapes and near misses. He managed to drop his lunch in the middle of the cafeteria and received a few strange looks, as well as a sympathetic half smile from Renjun. He only realized he’d forgotten his Magical Theory notes back at the apartment when his lecture started, and successfully answered every question his professor asked him in Geology wrong. Sure, he was still alive, but he was getting progressively more relieved as 5 p.m. rolled around – when Donghyuck’s precious boyfriend that, most importantly, majored in Linguistics and was an expert on how the semantics and mechanics of spells worked, would come to their apartment hopefully with a solution. 

After Jeno’s last class, he left the labs with Renjun, who was animatedly complaining about his idiot lab partner who spilled Belladonna extract on him. He waved his hand in front of Jeno to show off his new burn mark. Jeno had to admit he was only half listening to his friend, instead devoting his attention to making sure he wasn’t stepping on any cracks on the sidewalk to avoid tripping, making sure his backpack straps were still intact so the whole thing wouldn’t fall to the ground, looking left and right before crossing the street a few more times to not get run over again. 

“You’re distracted,” Renjun said. It was more of a statement than a question. 

“I don’t wanna die,” Jeno replied with a weak smile. 

“That bad, huh.” Renjun grimaced.

Jeno gave what he hoped was a lighthearted laugh. “I’m probably overreacting. It’s annoying as shit, but how bad can a little bad luck be, right?” he said, but still, the scrapes on his arms and legs from his fall that morning stung. 

Renjun seemed to accept that answer and went back to ranting about Lab. By then, they’d safely made it a few blocks out from campus and were passing a walled off construction site by the side of the road, scaffolding towering stories above them. 

Jeno froze. The air suddenly felt like it was alive, the crackling making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. He whipped his head around, searching for the source of the next bout of bad luck. Maybe some dog would run up and bite him. Or maybe it’d be a cat. He was allergic to cats. “Shit.” 

“Jeno? What’s wrong?” Renjun was a few steps ahead and had turned around when he realized Jeno wasn’t next to him. 

“I–“

“Watch out!” someone yelled from above. 

Eyes snapping to the construction site, Jeno registered the man leaning out the side of the half-finished building, then his gaze darted to the block of concrete tumbling through the air stories above them. His heart leapt to his throat, and as if in response to how fast his pulse was hammering, time seemed to slow down, one moment stretching out in hundreds. Through it all, his only distinct thought was _fuck_. He watched the chunk of rock sail through the air, falling meter by meter. Jeno tracked its course and realized that it wouldn’t actually fall on him and crush him, despite what the rest of his unlucky day had led him to believe – the trajectory was wrong. 

But then his eyes shifted over slightly and, fuck, Renjun was right next to him, frozen, mouth agape and eyes widened, staring up. The concrete was going to fall on him. That was enough to jolt Jeno out of his stupor. With reflexes he didn’t know he had, he planted his feet on the ground, the rumble of energy from the earth rising up into him. He felt the magic at his core, that familiar stability inside him. He directed his focus above, and felt, rather than saw the block falling. With all his strength, he willed it to move. 

Time caught up to him and in the next split second the block of concrete crashed onto the ground next to the two of them, the impact smashing it into pieces. 

Renjun turned his head to stare at Jeno, mouth still agape and eyes still widened. “You just saved my life.” 

“Come on,” Jeno grabbed his arm and started to tug his friend towards their apartment. The sooner they got back the better. And if Mark was already there, then even better. He’d been cursed for a total of twenty four hours, and for the entirety of that time, nothing bad had happened. Yes, Jeno had lost things and dropped things, he’d tripped more times than he wanted to count, and gotten into a minor car accident. But none of those events had even come close to affecting any of his friends. It had’t even occurred to him until now that his luck, or lack thereof, could extend to the people around him, and the thought scared him so, so much. It wasn’t annoyance that Jeno felt towards the curse anymore, it was fear, fear that felt heavy on his shoulders and heavy in his heart. 

Jeno trudged into their apartment, Renjun in tow, and flopped onto the couch the moment he reached their living room, spent. He’d never felt so drained, so bone-tired. Finals were coming up, and it was already taking all of his energy to scrape an A in Elemental Magic, even with that essay that Professor Oh had praised yesterday. Plus he still had that Geology lab project to finish. And don’t even get him started on the whole situation with Jaemin – he swore internally, wishing he hadn’t just reminded himself of their argument. In conclusion, he just really, really didn’t have time to get cursed. 

He threw an arm over his head so that he could mope in peace and block out the image of Donghyuck draped over Mark on the arm chair, disgustingly fluffy and sweet. Wait – _Mark_. 

“Mark!” he cried out. “You’re here!” Some of the weight on shoulders lifted, but it was a little hard to forget the whole reason Mark was here in the first place. Unless he really was here just to cuddle Donghyuck. 

“Please tell me you’ve found a way to get rid of the curse,” Renjun said from where he’d taken a seat on top of their kitchen counter, swinging his legs lightly. “Jeno’s been sulking all day.” His words seemed easy enough, but Jeno could detect a strain to his voice.

Mark untangled himself from Donghyuck and tried to push his boyfriend away, tilting Donghyuck’s head so that he would face forwards. Donghyuck kept turning his head back so that he could keep staring at Mark. After a few more attempts Mark gave up and let the other boy make googly eyes at him. 

“I’m sorry,” Mark said to Jeno, because apparently there was no nice way to put it. 

“It’s not your fault, hyung.” Jeno hated how he couldn’t keep out the note of disappointment in his voice. 

“No, it’s just, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” 

Donghyuck pouted next to Mark. “I know I shouldn’t have cast the spell,” he muttered, sounding small. 

“It’s not really your fault, Hyuck. I mean – yes your dumbass shouldn’t have done it without checking properly first. But this ritual was really messy in the first place. It channels some type of old magic that’s super rare, super dangerous. I doubt Hyuck could’ve properly done the summoning even if he was aware of how it was supposed to work.” 

“Hey I’m a Summoning major! I know how shit works!” Donghyuck retorted. 

“No offense, but I spent hours looking for books on this yesterday and I barely found anything at all. I seriously don’t think you could pull this off, it’s, like, serious high level stuff.”

Guilt wormed into Jeno’s heart at the thought of the older student wasting so much time on this, but the sight of Donghyuck sticking out his bottom lip even more and Mark fondly wrapping an arm around him tugged Jeno's lips up into a smile. 

“So what you’re saying is that there’s no way to break the curse?” Renjun asked. 

“This is a disaster. _I miss my mom_ ,” Donghyuck whimpered. Brow furrowed and lips pursed, he turned to face Mark. “Is there really nothing anyone can do for Jeno? We can’t leave him alone, it’s just not fair. Especially after I… I messed up. I’m willing to do anything to help, I swear, I have to take responsibility.” Jeno was surprised to hear the serious tone in Donghyuck’s voice, usually reserved for grave situations when he had to talk to his professors. 

Mark’s eyes softened. “We’ll keep working on how to break the curse, but there is a way we can ease its effects for now,” he said, and Jeno had the feeling his words were subconsciously directed more towards Donghyuck than Jeno. "A temporary solution.”

Donghyuck visibly perked up, and Jeno felt himself brighten as well. 

“Based on what I can see from your book,” Mark explained, “the structure of the curse is less like that of a spell and more like an entity. It’s, like, its own independent system, with its own will, and it has these properties that–"

“Hyung, not all of us take Spell Mechanics,” Donghyuck whispered loudly. 

Mark rolled his eyes affectionately, then turned back to the rest of them. “Okay, it’s like a… a little thief? A thief following you around and stealing your luck?” 

Jeno pictured a little cartoon man with a black and white striped shirt and a black mask over his eyes, lugging a sack with all of Jeno’s luck and tiptoeing after him. The absurd image would’ve made him laugh if the whole situation isn’t so depressing. 

“The point is,” Mark continued, "the curse isn’t directly bound to you, it physically has to keep looking for your energy and follow it. I think if we were able to cover your tracks, the curse wouldn’t be able to find you and _bam!_ no more bad luck.” 

“How does that work?” Donghyuck asked. “Can we wrap Jeno’s shoes with plastic bags so he doesn’t leave footprints? Metaphorically speaking, of course.” 

Mark punched Donghyuck in the arm. “I think if we had something with powerful enough energy near you all the time it’d be able to hide your own energy, slow down the curse. Honestly, a person would work best. Buddy system.” 

Jeno racked his brain. He knew exactly how powerful the curse was, felt the air crackle with it every time it struck – if someone had to be around him to keep the curse away, their magic had to be really, really strong. So Renjun was out of the question. Renjun was great, but he didn’t have active magic, it was something he complained about all the time, claiming that _if I had a different skill set I would’ve killed you all ages ago!_ Mark could probably do it, as a third year student he had more experience than all of them and knew a lot about spells and curses. But, as a third year student, he wouldn’t have the time to follow around a poor, unfortunate soul like Jeno. Donghyuck was definitely strong enough, but if Jeno was honest, he was a little scared to be left alone with him. Aside from his stinging sarcasm, Donghyuck’s magic felt volatile, always left Jeno disoriented, like the ground had dropped beneath his feet. 

So that left Jaemin. Jaemin’s magic was strong, too strong, it was like a surging flood and a torrent of rain, but it was also waves lapping at the shore and the babbling of a brook. It was calming to Jeno, familiar. Jeno was truly fucked. 

“I’ll do it.” Jeno snapped to attention, eyes darting to Jaemin. He hadn’t realized that Jaemin had been listening to their conversation, with how he was sat in the corner of the kitchen table hunched over a pile of homework, headphones over his ears. “I’ll help Jeno.” 

Jeno felt like he should say something, thank Jaemin, tell Jaemin no, but he found himself unable to take his eyes off the other boy, his mind blank. His heart rose to his throat as he watched Jaemin take off his headphones and walk towards the others, tentative. He leaned against the arm of the couch, impossibly close to Jeno. Jeno stiffened. 

“Are you sure you should, Jaemin?” Renjun spoke up, uncertain. “With your…” He trailed off, lips pursed together. 

His control over his magic, Jeno was sure Renjun meant. It was no secret to them that Jaemin used to have trouble keeping it in check, and Jeno especially was no stranger to it. He'd spent enough nights holding Jaemin close, murmuring calming spells while he was on the verge of breaking down, to know that his strong magic came with overwhelming power that could get out of control. But Jeno also knew that Jaemin had gotten so much better, so much more strong-willed and strong-minded, a stability he admired. 

“He can do it,” Jeno said, just as Jaemin’s brow had begun to furrow and started to worry his bottom lip, head hung low. The words left his mouth before he even had the time to properly think everything through. “I know he can do it.”

Jaemin lifted his head to meet Jeno’s gaze with a soft smile. Shit, he’d definitely been staring. In the late afternoon light slanting in through their apartment windows, Jaemin's eyes looked like pools of honey, and Jeno felt warm and fuzzy inside. Like, disgustingly, Mark-and-Donghyuck level fuzzy. 

The sound of Mark clearing his throat rang out awkwardly in the quietness. Jeno and Jaemin both flinched and looked away, Jaemin appearing to become very interested in his nails. Jeno’s eyes darted to Renjun, who was giving him a knowing look, and Donghyuck, who was straight up smirking. He sure was lucky in the friends department. 

After Mark made sure Jaemin was clear on the details of How To Ward Off a Curse 101, he was dragged away into Donghyuck’s room. Renjun quickly retreated into his own room as well to work on the Potions project Jeno’s bad luck had ruined the day before. 

That left Jeno and Jaemin alone in the living room. Jeno picked at one of the scrapes he’d gotten that morning from his accident, unsure of how to fill the silence that had ensued. 

“Hey, let me see that.” Jaemin scooted over on the couch so that he was next to Jeno, but the little gap he left between them didn’t escape Jeno. He reached a hand out to Jeno’s forearm, fingertips barely brushing his skin. Instantly, he felt comfort wash upon him. It wasn’t just Jaemin’s presence that was so reassuring to Jeno – well, being so close to Jaemin after so many days had its effects, of course – but it was his magic, the energy that emanated off him in waves, that familiar reliability. Jeno felt himself relax. He wanted to lean into Jaemin’s touch, push him away, he wanted more. 

Shaking himself out of his daze, he found that Jaemin had retrieved their motley first aid kit and was soaking a piece of gauze in some healing solution Renjun had made. He watched Jaemin dab at the cuts on his forearm, wincing slightly. 

“Renjun told me you were just standing in the middle of the road for a solid ten seconds,” Jaemin said. Jeno thought he sounded mad until he saw the smile tugging at his lips. 

“I swear that’s not what happened! I was crossing when that car came out of nowhere.”

“You need to be more careful!” 

“It was hardly my fault! You try being cursed,” Jeno protested. 

Jaemin tut-tutted. 

“You sound like an old grandma.” 

A grin split across Jaemin’s face. “Our little Jeno needs to watch out for himself,” he chastised jokingly, exaggerating his tone and patting Jeno on the head. “Our Jeno’s too cute to be run over by a car!” He pinched Jeno’s cheeks. 

They both burst into laughter, and for a moment, everything was okay.

When their laughter faded, Jeno’s eyes were left locked onto Jaemin’s. Jaemin looked at him thoughtfully. “Take off your jacket.” 

“W-what?” Jeno spluttered, taken aback. 

Jaemin grinned shamelessly. “The cuts on your elbows. I can only clean them if you take your jacket off.” 

“R-right, right,” Jeno stumbled, shrugging off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves, exposing the angry red scrapes on his arms. 

The grin on Jaemin’s face didn’t leave. “What’d you think I meant?”

Jeno huffed and shoved him. 

Dipping more gauze pads into the healing solution, Jaemin moved to clean out the other wounds. Jeno searched for something else to say, but the moment had passed and they both fell silent. He became hyperaware of Jaemin’s every move – a touch to his upper arm, a brush against his elbow, a nudge against his knee when Jaemin leaned closer. He noted the slight furrow between Jaemin’s eyebrows, the bottom lip brought up between his teeth. Jeno remembered the feeling of those lips against his, impossibly soft. The memory of it felt distant.

Jeno shut his eyes tight. He’d seen those same lips pressed up on another boy’s mouth just days ago, he’d seen Jaemin leave the party with that boy. He wanted to say something now, to say that it was _fine_ , that Jaemin could sleep with whoever he wanted and it was none of Jeno’s business. But he didn’t trust himself to speak. He didn’t trust himself to say he didn’t care, because it wasn’t true. Because even with Jaemin’s guard up, Jeno had to admit he still felt so at ease with him. He’d missed him. 

Jaemin looked up from fixing the last bandaid onto Jeno’s arm and met his gaze. His eyes flickered to Jeno’s lips, so quick that Jeno wondered if he’d imagined it. 

Pulling out two lollipops from the collection Donghyuck had hid in the first aid kit, Jaemin tossed one at Jeno, startling him. Jeno couldn’t help but grin when he saw the pink wrapper of the strawberry lollipop, Jaemin’s least favorite, and his heart swelled when he saw Jaemin return his grin with a small smile of his own. He was relieved that an argument wouldn’t overturn their familiar little routine. 

Hours later, when it was late enough that Jeno could barely keep his eyes open, the two of them said their goodnights and returned to their respective rooms. For the first time that night, Jeno was no longer distracted enough to avoid thinking about his Geology lab or ignore the fact that his one decent Elementals essay might not boost his semester grade. He sighed and threw himself onto his bed. It was too late to do his homework anyways, he told himself. He’d figure out what to do about that when he was awake the next morning with a clear head. 

Struggling to find a comfortable spot on his bed, he felt on edge, like he was lying next to a precipice and one wrong move would lead to him falling to his doom – or rather, one wrong move and the depressing crackling would return and he’d die some unlucky death. They’d reasoned that Jaemin’s magic would still extend to Jeno if he was just one room away and he’d be safe, but he’d still felt Jaemin’s magic fade away when he left, like waves receding, leaving him cold and without his bearings. At least that meant Jeno wouldn’t have to literally be glued to Jaemin’s side until they broke the curse. Or maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. Donghyuck would say that Jeno was hopeless, which really was hypocritical because Donghyuck was so starry-eyed whenever Mark came within a ten meter radius of him. 

In the end, Jeno didn’t have to decide about what to do about Jaemin, regardless of his feelings, because fuck, the curse was back, the air charging with electricity. What was going to happen this time? Maybe his bed would collapse, or the ceiling would cave in. 

Against his better judgement, Jeno bolted upright in bed and sprinted out of his room, dashing to Jaemin’s door. He raised a hand to knock, then paused. Jaemin was probably asleep, and even if he wasn’t it was rude to barge in on his room in the middle of the night. But the crackling was getting stronger, and it was getting hard to breathe in the air thick with the curse. So, _fuck it_ , he knocked.

A bleary-eyed Jaemin answered the door a moment later, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He was in a tank top and sweat pants, his hair mussed, and when he murmured “Jeno?” his voice was deep and raspy. Jeno’s panicked brain remotely thought, _oh, that’s hot_ , before he realized how stupid he looked, out of bed so late looking terrified. 

“I – I uh…” Jeno didn’t know what to say. _My curse wants to kill me so I ran to you? I want to be around you so I’m using the curse as an excuse?_

“Is it the curse?” Jeno nodded dumbly. Jaemin bit on his bottom lip, brow furrowing. “I thought I’d still be close enough to help you,” he murmured. He paused. “Do you wanna just stay in my room then?”

_Well he went straight to the point._

“I – yeah?”

Jeno followed Jaemin into his room, dazed, trying not to dissect that fact that Jaemin had looked left and right into the corridor before letting Jeno in. The room was cluttered with talismans and charms, all old Enchanting projects of Jaemin’s, both for homework and his own experimenting. Jeno didn’t know what most of the magical objects could do, and he doubted that Jaemin remembered either. Renjun and even Donghyuck were usually scared of going into Jaemin's room, for fear of setting off the enchantments. 

Still not fully processing the situation, Jeno numbly wondered if he’d have to sleep on the floor. But then Jaemin, now sat on his bed, patted the space beside him. _Oh_. 

Slipping under the covers, Jeno instantly felt comfort flood him, and he wasn’t sure if it was Jaemin’s magic or just Jaemin that was doing the trick anymore. Donghyuck was right, he was hopeless. 

“I’m sorry, Jaeminie,” he said into the darkness. He wasn’t really sure what he was apologizing for. He settled for being sorry about waking Jaemin up in the middle of the night, for now. 

“You never have to apologize to me, Jeno,” was the soft response Jeno got, before Jaemin rolled over, his back facing Jeno. 

As Jeno fell into unconsciousness, he realized he was smiling. _Stupid heart_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you like this so far! feedback and any comments are always appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coffee and rain, jeno's favorite combination.

Jeno woke with a crick in his neck, Jaemin’s head tucked under his chin, an arm slung over Jaemin’s waist, and their legs tangled together. This was not how he'd expected his Saturday morning to start. 

He could smell the perpetual hint of coffee on Jaemin, the result of way too many cups of what they’d dubbed _deathspresso_ everyday. Jeno had always liked the earthy scent on him. He could detect a whiff of something like petrichor as well, the familiar smell of rain and Jaemin’s magic. Despite his voice of reason telling him not to, Jeno snuggled closer to Jaemin. 

Reminding himself that he really was hopeless, Jeno wished he could stay in that moment all day, sheltered away from the world and his problems in this little bubble of comfort. He wished he could talk to Jaemin – properly talk, not just dance around their fight and pretend things were fine, because open communication obviously was one of their strengths. The fight had completely thrown Jeno off, taking away probably the most constant thing in his life. 

He was absolutely hopeless. 

Even though Jaemin was notorious for waking up late, Jeno decided that he should probably get out of bed soon just in case – he wasn’t sure he could face Jaemin at that moment. To avoid waking the other boy, Jeno painstakingly disentangled him from Jaemin and his warmth and tiptoed out of the room, easing the door open and slipping out. 

Renjun was hunched over the stove in the kitchen, poring over a textbook and stirring a pot of a thick purple mixture. He was probably remaking the potion Jeno had accidentally ruined the day before. Renjun glanced at Jeno when he entered the kitchen, then returned his attention to his work. 

“So you slept in Jaemin’s room.” It was more of a statement than a question, said with a raised eyebrow and the ghost of a smirk. 

“It was because of the curse,” Jeno said, trying to sound nonchalant. He wasn’t lying though, it really was because of the curse. "If I hadn’t the apartment might’ve caught on fire or something like that.”

Renjun gave him another smile, but didn’t say anything else. He also didn’t mention the fact that Jeno had wrecked his Potions project and that was why he was working so early on a Saturday, which Jeno was thankful for. 

Pouring himself a cup of coffee, Jeno perched on one of the chairs parked next to the countertop, idly swirling its contents. 

They were both quiet for a beat, before Renjun asked, “do you wanna talk about any other reasons you slept in Jaemin’s room?”

“I – we–” Jeno spluttered. Shit, yes, there were plenty of other reasons, but Jeno wasn’t ready to admit that. 

“You know, if you just talk to him–"

“–Yeah.” Jeno bit back a sigh. “I know.” Renjun looked him through watchful eyes, but remained silent. “I just,” Jeno sighed then. “I really care about him, y’know?” he bit out, trying to get the words across. Renjun was Jaemin’s best friend. Jeno figured that if he couldn’t say this to Jaemin himself, Renjun was the next best option. 

“And he cares about you too,” Renjun said simply. 

“I – I just messed up. It’s not really him I’m mad at, I guess, it’s myself. I messed up, and he – he deserves better. And he’s already found better!” Jeno could hear how tight his voice sounded with the levity he was forcing into it. “And that’s okay! If he’s happy then I don’t mind.” 

“And you don’t suppose he thinks he messed up too?”

Jeno opened his mouth to say that _no, Jaemin is an angel and could never be wrong_ – he wasn’t actually going to say that out loud – before he paused and reconsidered. He remembered their argument, and Jaemin had been completely reasonable, nothing had been his fault. Jeno just… he could’t agree with Jaemin, couldn’t accept the things he'd said. But if Renjun, Jaemin’s best friend, said that Jaemin thought he’d made a mistake too, then…?

Jeno shrugged. “If he’s happy now–" 

“Do you really think he is, though?”

“He’s been with those guys at the parties–” 

“For someone who goes out so much he seems kinda sad, don’t you think?”

Jeno paused. 

“You should know,” Renjun continued before he could process everything, “the guys he’s slept – he’s been with,” Renjun corrected himself a little clumsily. “They all pretty much look like you,” he finished softly. 

There was logic to Renjun’s words, Jeno supposed, but it was getting hard to listen to logic and reason when all he saw was other guys kissing, touching Jaemin through a white haze of anger and helplessness. 

“Jeno!” Jaemin’s voice suddenly cut through Jeno’s mental tangent. “Why’d you leave my room? Something bad could’ve happened to you!”

Maybe he was only making sure Jeno was alright because he didn’t want the curse to cause their apartment to black out or something, or maybe he genuinely cared about Jeno. Either way, Jeno’s heart swayed a little. And now that Renjun had mentioned it, he noticed that Jaemin’s smile seemed a little more strained than usual, his shoulders a little more slumped. He’d been quite than normal as well. Maybe Renjun had a point. 

The silver bells hanging by the entrance tinkled when Jaemin pushed open the door to the little cafe tucked in the corner between two streets, dragging Jeno behind him. The Apothecary was small, owned by an elderly magician who liked the spoil the university students that frequented the coffeeshop. Old Mrs Park infused her hand-brewed drinks and homemade pastries with enchantments and charms to give her customers more energy or brighten their moods, and Jeno could feel the warm magic wafting over him, along with the comforting smell of coffee and cake. 

Jeno tilted his head up to marvel at the elaborate carvings of angels and clouds sculpted into the vaulted ceiling, even if he’d seen them during the countless times Jaemin had dragged him there. There were plants and flowers sitting in the windowsills, and shelves full of boxes of tea, jars of compote, and books, lots of books. Even people that didn’t know about the magic the place was singing with came for the aesthetic. 

“Hi Jaemin sweetie. The regular for you and Jeno?” Mrs Park asked.

“Yes please.”

Jeno slid up next to him. “I’ll pay,” he said. Jaemin deserved some compensation for being stuck with Jeno for the foreseeable future. 

Jaemin gave him a look that Jeno returned, their mental battle of staring each other down continuing until Jaemin backed down. “ _Pfft_ , fine.” 

“You two are so cute,” Mrs Park cooed, smiling. 

Jeno spluttered and felt heat creep into his cheeks, much to his chagrin. He looked to Jaemin and saw that the other boy was grinning at Mrs Park, a smile that seemed forced until it softened when his gaze met Jeno’s. Jeno darted his eyes away and quickly ducked away after accepting the receipt from Mrs Park. 

A few minutes later, Jeno picked up an iced coffee and a strawberry iced tea from the counter. The whole strawberry thing had started out as a joke, Jeno eating strawberry ice cream, strawberry cake, strawberry candy so that Jaemin wouldn’t steal his food because of how much he hated strawberries. At some point Jeno had just gotten used to it and no longer did it ironically.

“I swear your coffee is darker than my soul,” he said, setting down Jaemin’s cup. 

Jaemin snorted. “Anything's darker than your soul. Your soul’s, like, a vanilla Frappuccino.” 

“Okay, but look, it’s literally the same color as my hoodie,” he retorted, holding Jaemin’s cup against his black hoodie. 

Jaemin just smiled. 

They later found themselves at the open air market a couples blocks away, one of their favorite haunts from when they were still first years and had time that could be spent on things that weren’t for class. Jeno wasn’t sure if it was convenience of nostalgia that had brought them there. 

As they weaved between the stands with bubble tea and paper containers of tteokbokki in hand, Jeno was surprised to find that their conversation flowed almost as easily as it did before, relieved to see that they could still fall back into that comfortable rhythm.

“I’ve been working on this new Enchanting model,” Jaemin was chattering brightly, “it’s based on the cool formula I told you about last week and the cause and effect principle…” 

Jaemin lost Jeno when he started going into something about polarity and duality and isolating different magical charges. Jeno had absolutely no idea what the other boy was talking about and had long since given up on listening to what Jaemin was saying, choosing instead to watch the way Jaemin’s eyes lit up as he rattled on and on, barely breathing in between sentences. The trick with Jaemin was to get him talking about something he liked. He could be the quietest person in the room, but if he was interested, he could also be the loudest. 

Their conversation steered towards the mechanics of magic, Jeno arguing that “magic is straightforward! Spells are like programs made by magicians.” 

“Magic’s not that boring,” Jaemin bickered back. “You can’t reduce magic down to just some words and wand waving, magic’s like an endless ocean of everything! Two plus two could equal sixteen or four hundred or anything, for that matter!” 

“Two plus two equals four.” 

Jaemin blew air out of his lips, sending a few strands of hair flying. “No fun,” he said through a pout. Jeno shoved him with his shoulder. 

Now that he thought about it, Jaemin had a point about his magic. Jeno’s own abilities were tied to the earth, a stable, unyielding, strong-rooted force. For him, magic was straightforward. But Jaemin was an expanse of sea, always pushing and pulling and flowing. This was why Jeno loved talking to Jaemin – he saw everything so differently. 

Passing a traditional medicine shop, they snickered and recounted how Renjun had been studying for his finals once and was working with a traditional blend of gingko and ginseng when he blew up his cauldron. His eyebrows had been burned clean off. 

Jaemin threw his head back laughing. “Didn’t Hyuck offer to draw his eyebrows using sharpie?” 

“I’m pretty sure he did draw them on, when Renjun was sleeping. Renjun almost killed him after!"

They continued through the market with potato pancakes and memories about the time Donghyuck had summoned an onslaught of angry pixies in their apartment, or the time Renjun thought he saw ghosts in their kitchen, said ghosts being the overcoats Jaemin had animated to do his chores. After complaining about Donghyuck and Mark’s constant PDA, Jeno told the Jaemin about the part-time job at a research lab that a senior student, Doyoung, had helped him get, to which Jaemin responded with excited clapping and gushing. Jaemin then bragged about the first year Necromancy major he was tutoring, Jisung, enthusing about his grades and abilities.

“You sound like a proud mother,” Jeno joked between laughs. 

“I raised him,” Jaemin replied solemnly. 

“You complain about the kid all the time.”

“Hey! Don’t cross the line, I’ll tell Jisungie to unleash his army of the dead on you.” 

By the time they left the market, the sky was dark and stormy clouds were rolling in, hanging low. The air smelt like rain and thunder, like coffee, like Jaemin. Jeno closed his eyes as the first raindrop fell, on his forehead, the next on the back of his neck. Breathing in deeply, he felt the cool air give him a rush as all the stress left his body, melting off of him into the ground along with the raindrops that slid down his arms and legs. It felt like magic. As the light drizzle tapped on the roofs of the market stalls and pavement, the soft _pitapats_ becoming more and more frequent, Jaemin tipped his head back with his eyes closed and gave a carefree laugh. And it was so inexplicably _Jaemin._

Jaemin grabbed Jeno’s hand and they ran down the streets as the rain became a proper downpour, soaking into Jeno’s shoes, his shirt, his hair, and his bones, where he felt the thrum of magic. Turning onto their apartment’s street hand in hand, Jaemin let out a laugh, loud and free, and Jeno couldn’t help but be reminded of the freshman-year, rainy-day adventures they went on, splashing through the torrent as it showered down on them. Jeno breathed in the petrichor that lingered in the air, his favorite smell in the world. 

Shivering and panting, they reached their apartment building. In their rush to find cover, Jaemin slipped on the wet pavement, tipping forward towards Jeno until Jeno reached out with both hands to steady the other boy. Laughter at Jaemin’s clumsiness was at the tip of Jeno’s tongue, but then Jaemin looked up at Jeno through his bangs, now plastered to his forehead, a smile still in his eyes. His eyes were dark in the dim light filtering through the storm clouds, like an endless ocean. Jeno wondered if he could get lost in those eyes. He wondered if he wanted to. 

Realizing he was still holding onto Jaemin’s shoulders, he belatedly dropped his arms. But Jaemin was still standing right in front of him, too close, too far. If Jeno leaned forward just a fraction, his lips could brush Jaemin’s. He wanted to lean forward, he wanted to run away. 

Remotely, Jeno realized Jaemin’s eyes were on his lips. His heart skipped a beat, before resuming and pounding twice as fast. Was this a bad idea? It didn’t feel like one. Maybe they could keep dancing around their problems, pretending everything was okay, and maybe it _would_ be okay. 

Jeno breathed in the smell of rain and coffee. He could feel Jaemin’s magic, flowing onto him like he was underwater, everything fading away until it was all muted except for Jaemin. He wasn’t sure who leaned in first, but his eyes slipped closed as Jaemin’s hand rose slowly, slotting into the space where Jeno’s jaw ended. His hand felt like it belonged there, like puzzle pieces perfectly fitted together, exactly how it had felt every other time before. Jeno felt his thumb brush at his cheek, wiping away a stray raindrop. 

Silence hung heavy around them, until it didn’t and the rumble of thunder cut through the air. Just like that, Jeno’s little hopeful fantasy shattered, like glass into a million little shards. He opened his eyes as Jaemin’s hand slipped away, his gaze falling as well. 

“I want everything to be okay,” Jeno whispered finally. “I want everything to be okay, but I don’t know how to make it right.” 

It wasn’t an apology, but he hoped Jaemin would understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you like this so far!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> progress is made.

“Are we starting a cult?” 

Honestly, after the… whatever it was that happened with Jaemin and the painfully silent elevator ride up to their apartment, Jeno wasn’t even sure what to prepare himself for. Facing his problems and finally properly talking to Jaemin? Steeling himself for whatever Jaemin had in mind about their fight and… _that_? He probably should’ve gotten ready to deal with whatever shit Donghyuck and Renjun – mostly Donghyuck – were going to give him for going out all day alone with Jaemin as well. 

What he was not ready for, however, was seeing the giant square, whitewood table in the middle of their living room, an engraved hexagram stretching over its top. There were elaborate carvings surrounding the border of the table, and letters Jeno recognized to be Enochian in the middle of the hexagram. Candles had been lit and placed on the corners of the table – again with the fire hazards – their flames casting dancing shadows on the walls and drawn curtains. 

“A cult? Absolutely!” Donghyuck replied brightly. He pulled the blanket he was currently wrapped in over his head to create a makeshift hooded cloak. 

Donghyuck would look a little eerie and sinister if the blanket wasn’t pink and covered in cartoon bunnies. And the whole set up would look impressive if the magical table didn’t have paint peeling at the edges and little hearts and smiley faces doodled in purple marker here and there. 

“Where did you even get this thing?” Jeno asked. 

“That little magic store a few blocks away,” Donghyuck answered. 

“It looks like a secondhand ripoff,” Jaemin commented. 

Donghyuck smiled. “Couldn’t afford the real deal,” he conceded. “Because _Renjun_ here, refused to chip in.” 

“ _Hey_!” the boy in question protested. “I paid my share!”

“I know you have that secret stash of money.”

“That’s my rainy day fund for emergency hotpot.” 

“ _Unbelievable_.” 

“Okay! Guys!” Mark cut into their bickering as he emerged from Donghyuck’s room balancing an armful of little talismans and old tomes. “Focus! We have a curse to break here.” 

“So you’ve found a way already?” 

Was that disappointment in Jaemin’s voice? With a start Jeno realized that the sinking feeling in his stomach was disappointment as well. With the curse there, it had been so easy to be around Jaemin, so easy to pretend everything was okay without actually facing his problems. If the curse was gone, would Jeno go back to losing Jaemin? 

Jeno shook his head to clear it. What was wrong with him? He was _cursed_ , for fuck's sake, someone could get hurt because of him if he didn’t snap out of it and get rid of the curse. 

As Jeno moved to join the others around their thrifted eyesore of a magic table, Jaemin reached out to brush his sleeve. “Can we talk later?” Jaemin murmured under his breath. Jeno found himself unable to meet the other’s eyes and nodded numbly. 

They each sat at one side of the table, Renjun watching from the side. Mark flipped open the book on his lap to a bookmarked page covered in scribbled Enochian words and an array of sigils Jeno had never seen before. 

“This thing is a monstrosity,” Jaemin chuckled as he took a seat next to Jeno, patting the tacky piece of furniture.

“Imagine having to carry it into the building.” Renjun rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. “Our neighbors were _not_ happy. They probably thought we’re really starting a cult.” 

“I swear this is the real deal!” Mark laughed, throwing his hands up defensively. “It’s Enochian magic. This thing’s gonna help us channel angel magic.” 

Donghyuck scoffed. “Angels are assholes," he muttered under his breath, and received a punch to his arm. 

Mark began to chant softly, the unfamiliar words flowing from his lips effortlessly in an easy, steady rhythm. There was a sudden rush in magic, gathering around them and concentrating in their circle. Jeno focused and felt the familiar rumble of energy as it settled deep in his bones, stable and reliable. His senses heightened and he detected the rise in the others’ magic in his peripheral as the spell began to take form and Mark continued to cast. His eyes slipped closed and he sensed the earth beneath him, its energy rooting him into the moment, keeping him grounded. This was what magic felt like. He reached down into the earth and felt it reciprocate, almost like extending a hand, its familiar balance tethering him to the spell. 

Their magic was building up, the hum almost audible and the energy in the air almost tangible. With Mark’s last words, Jeno felt the spell surge, but it wasn’t able to finish. A faint buzz crept into Jeno’s awareness, crescendoing until it was once again the overbearing crackling, setting the air alight with electricity. Frantically, he shut his eyes tight, tuning it out, and put all his will into their spell. It had to work. It had to.

Jeno saw the room darken even behind his closed eyelids, and when he opened them everything was pitch black. It was as if he was shrouded in a veil of shadows. He forced himself to breathe, to focus on the spell, but he could feel it faltering, the structure of it falling apart. A hand rested on his thigh – Jaemin’s, he realized – and he felt some of his strength return. But it was no use: the curse was too overpowering and their spell broke, the sensation of it like the ground crumbling beneath Jeno, creating a giant abyss under him. And he fell into it too, into unconsciousness. 

He fainted. How embarrassing.

The first thing that Jeno registered when he came to was the hard light of the fluorescents above him, the harshness forcing him to squint. The next thing he noticed was Jaemin’s touch, the boy sitting close to him with a hand clasped over his own. Then the disappointment kicked in, the stark realization that their spell hadn’t worked and he was still very much cursed. But that disappointment was mixed in with a giddy weightlessness as the fear that he’d lose Jaemin again left his shoulders. The strange cocktail of emotions sat unsteady in him. 

“And he lives!” Donghyuck exclaimed, throwing his arms up excitedly then wrapping them around Jeno, flinging himself onto the couch, where Jeno was lying. 

Jeno lightly patted Donghyuck’s back using his free hand, the one that wasn’t holding Jaemin’s. 

Looking past Donghyuck’s head pressed up against his neck, he saw Mark looking down at him with concern, while Renjun was rolling his eyes exasperatedly – that was probably directed at Donghyuck. Jaemin smiled warmly at him, and his insides felt like they had melted. Maybe that was the aftereffect of fainting. 

“I’m sorry about the curse, man,” Mark apologized, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know what went wrong.” 

Jeno gave him a strained smile, unsure of what to say. 

“Don’t worry, hyung,” Donghyuck declared, sitting up. “Renjun and I have a plan, don’t we.” He winked at his friend, and Renjun, surprisingly, grinned back. 

“What is it?” Mark asked, his expression a cross between confusion and amusement. 

“Oh, you’ll see. If it works, that is.” 

That didn’t sound reassuring. Jeno made a mental note to stay away from Donghyuck and possibly Renjun as well. 

When Renjun disappeared into his room that night, Jaemin angled his head towards his own room. Hoping for a few more minutes of blissful ignorance and peace, Jeno pretended not to see and kept his eyes on his laptop and the problem set he was working on. 

“Jeno.” 

It was no more than a whisper, but Jeno heard it loud and clear in the silence of their living room. He sighed inwardly. By no means was he disappointed to get to spend time alone with the other boy, but they’d been dancing around their problems for so long, pretending that they were both happy with nothing else between them. They'd spent the entirety of a day together like that, for fuck’s sake. Jeno didn’t think he knew how to face reality. 

Taking a seat on Jaemin’s desk chair while Jaemin perched on the edge of his bed, Jeno was unsure of how to fill the silence that hung heavy around them. The smile Jaemin wore during the whole day had slipped away, and he was worrying his bottom lip, his eyes on Jeno the whole time, leaning forward as if he were about to speak. No words came. 

“I’m sorry,” Jeno started. _For not being there for you, for yelling at you, for not kissing you, for wanting to kiss you_. How could he force all that meaning into two words?

“I told you, you don’t have to apologize to me,” Jaemin replied, his voice sounding small. 

“I do, I shouldn’t have–"

“I’ve been losing control. Of my magic.” 

Jeno words died in his throat, his mouth still half open. So that’s what it was. The strain in his every action, the tension in his body, the forced smiles and distance. It was his magic. 

Jaemin looked up at him then, and Jeno saw the pain in his eyes. “It’s just been so hard and everything hurts. I feel like… I feel like I’m drowning. All the time.” 

Tentatively, Jeno got to his feet and sat beside Jaemin on the bed. He raised an arm uncertainly but paused, hovering in between them. Jaemin had once yelled that he didn’t know how to be there for Jaemin. To hell with that, Jeno would learn. He rested his arm around the other’s shoulder and pulled him close. Jaemin’s frame was strained, his shoulders hunched up, and Jeno felt every shaky breath he took. 

“How long has it been?”

“A few weeks? A month?” Jaemin offered weakly. 

Jeno closed his eyes briefly and breathed out through his nose. “You know I would’ve been there for you. I _am_ here for you.” He would try. He was trying. “You shouldn’t be helping me with the stupid curse.” 

“No.” Jaemin lifted his head up. “I want to. For you.” 

If Jeno’s heart wasn’t so heavy, it would’ve swelled. 

“But you should've told me.” 

He felt Jaemin stiffen beside him. Shit, he shouldn’t have said that. Wasn’t that what Jaemin had argued last time? He always forced Jaemin into things that made himself comfortable. Jaemin was right, the other boy didn’t _have_ to do anything, for Jeno or otherwise, unless he wanted to. 

Jaemin sighed, his shoulders drooping. Some of the strain melted from his body, but he still sat rigid, not pulling away from Jeno but not leaning into him either. “I… I didn’t know how to tell you. You’ve been so stressed and everything, I didn’t want to wor – I didn’t want to bother you.”

Jeno’s heart twisted in his chest. “That’s not an excuse for me to not be there for you. Because I do. I mean – I care about you.” God, why couldn’t he get the right words out? Jaemin tilted his head to meet Jeno’s eyes. “I care about you so much.” His voice was steadier now. He wasn’t sure where he was getting this confidence from. “And I just wish so much that we could be something more, but I don’t know how, unless…” Fuck, he needed to stop telling Jaemin what to do. “Unless…” 

“Unless I open up to you?” That was exactly what Jeno wanted to say, but with all the wrong words. “Jeno, the only way I know how to open up is not the way you want me to.” 

What the hell did that mean? So Jaemin could open up to that asshole at the party and not him? Except Jeno couldn’t say that – how could he when Jaemin was in so much pain? 

Jaemin furrowed his brows as he stared into Jeno’s eyes, like he was reading him. “I’m not using my magic as an excuse for what I’ve done.” It was as if Jaemin knew what he was thinking. “I don’t want you to pity me. Whatever it is that’s our problem ultimately has nothing to do with my magic, or that guy at the party.” 

Jeno flinched. How did Jaemin always seem to be able to read his mind?

“Ugh, I don’t want to talk about him,” Jaemin sighed, turning his head back away from Jeno. Was that it? Were they back to avoiding their problems?

“Please,” Jeno whispered after a long beat. “I know I’m not good at this. But I want to try. For you. Please tell me how to be better.” 

Jaemin pulled away from Jeno, and for one terrifying moment, Jeno thought he’d fucked up. But then Jaemin turned so that he was facing Jeno. He stared into Jeno’s eyes again, as if he were searching for something. Jeno didn’t know if the other boy would find what he wanted. 

Jaemin whispered something that he couldn’t hear. Jeno was too scared to ask what the other had said, for fear of saying the wrong thing. 

“Okay,” Jaemin murmured, audibly this time. He gave Jeno a weak, strained smile, but it still melted Jeno’s heart. “Okay. Jeno, you have no idea how much I care about you too. I want something more as well, I want to be your–” he stopped himself but smiled softly. “I’m just so scared to let you care about me. I’m scared to open up.” He paused. “Do you know how much effort it takes to control my magic?” It seemed like a genuine question instead of a sarcastic one. Jeno shook his head. “It’s like I can only let myself feel half of what I want to or the floodgates will break down. I think I’m like that with my feelings as well. I don’t know how to let go, and it's not fair on you if I can only show you parts of me."

“I’m sorry,” Jeno whispered. 

Jaemin shoved him lightly. “Stop apologizing!”

“But I really am! I was an asshole for trying to force you to… to open up. That’s your own choice, all of it is. I just didn’t want you to close yourself off and be alone. But I shouldn’t have forced you that way, I know that now. I’m sorry.” He reached out for Jaemin’s hand. “I’ll do whatever it takes to be there for you, in your way.” 

Jaemin looked down at their intertwined fingers. “Just… give me time. Can you do that?”

Jeno nodded numbly, and Jaemin rested his head on Jeno’s shoulder. Was Jeno supposed to feel this warm and fuzzy inside? 

With the hand that wasn’t holding Jeno’s, Jaemin raised a pinky. “I promise I’ll try not to close myself off.”

“And I promise not to pressure you into doing things my dumb way.” 

“Deal.” They linked pinkies, and everything felt alright.

“One more thing though,” Jeno said, tucking his chin over Jaemin’s head. “You have to stop avoiding me.” 

“Hardly _can_ avoid you, I’m in charge of making sure you don’t die from your curse.” Jaemin smacked him on the arm. Jeno shoved him back. “You know,” Jaemin continued, “I was only doing that before because I thought it would make you happy.”

“Why would I be happy if I couldn’t see you?” The words slipped out before Jeno could properly process their meaning. 

Jeno felt Jaemin laugh lightly. 

Later, when they lay on Jaemin’s bed, Jeno’s arm wrapped around the other boy’s waist, Jaemin murmured, “that wasn’t so bad now, was it?” 

Jeno could tell Jaemin was grinning. “I guess not, huh. We should talk more about our feelings and be as mushy as Hyuck and Mark.” 

Jaemin laughed then, a genuine laugh, and the sound was like the babbling of a brook – music to Jeno’s ears. He didn’t think he could stop smiling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you like this so far!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeno gains some, loses some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i commend every single person who manages to write regularly while going to school/work. this chapter took me three weeks to write so who knows when the last one's gonna be done – but we're getting there!

It was showering, the faint, soothing sound of the drizzle outside creating a rhythm with the irregular tapping of Jeno’s laptop keyboard. Soft blue light filtered in through the curtains, as if the room was submerged in the ocean, waves lapping at the windows. 

Beside where Jeno sat on the bed, Jaemin stirred, rolling over so that he could bury his face into Jeno’s side. His body was warm when he wrapped an arm around Jeno’s thigh, clinging to him. 

“Hey,” Jaemin said, his voice a quiet rasp. 

“Hey,” Jeno answered. “It’s raining.” 

Jaemin hummed noncommittally, but Jeno saw the small smile that tugged on his lips before he tucked himself closer to Jeno. As Jaemin’s breathing evened out again, Jeno felt content wash over him. Sheltered away from the world in this cocoon of blankets and warmth, all the tension in him melted away; he was completely at ease.

After typing another paragraph or two for his essay, Jeno decided Professor Oh and the applications of conservation of energy in earth magic could wait. He placed his laptop on the bed next to him and turned on his side to face Jaemin. With his ruffled hair and pink pajamas, long eyelashes fanned over his cheeks, Jaemin looked impossibly soft, and Jeno had to resist the urge to press a kiss to the other boy’s temple. Instead, he settled to card his fingers through Jaemin’s hair. Jaemin sighed. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Jaemin murmured, eyes still closed. “Did you get that A in Elementals?”

Jeno couldn’t help but smile, even though the other wouldn’t see it. “I did.” 

“That’s good,” Jaemin slurred. “Happy for you.” He paused as he shifted. “I think you’re too stressed, Jeno.” 

Jeno’s hand stilled where it had been running through Jaemin’s hair. He knew Jaemin was right: he took more classes than the others and that came with piles of homework, and he still worked part-time jobs and would be starting that internship Doyoung had gotten him in a few weeks. 

“Haven’t you bitten off more than you can chew?” 

“I’m good at chewing?” Jeno offered helplessly. 

Jaemin laughed lightly, a soft rumble in his throat, and he opened his eyes to look up at Jeno. “Don’t overwork yourself, ‘kay?” 

Jeno looked into Jaemin’s eyes then, and what else could he do but nod and agree when Jaemin was looking at him like that? He laid back down beside Jaemin, a hand fitting to Jaemin’s hip and Jaemin snuggling closer to him. As their breathing slowed in tandem, he was content to let the hours pass. 

When Jeno opened his eyes again, the sound of rain had faded away, the light washing into the bedroom shifting from blue to white. Jaemin was still asleep, his features resting in a half smile, the corners of his lips tugging up ever so slightly and the crinkle of his eyes almost imperceptible. There was no furrow between his brows, no bottom lip brought up between his teeth, and Jeno wished Jaemin could look like this forever. 

A white flicker of light kissed Jaemin’s cheek and Jeno reached up to catch it, his hand hovering over Jaemin’s jaw as his fingers brushed Jaemin’s skin. His breath hitched when Jaemin’s smile widened and his hand reached up to clasp Jeno’s, his eyes fluttering open. 

“Are you hungry, Jaeminie?” Jeno asked, so that he’d have something other than Jaemin’s eyes and smile to focus on. 

Jaemin snorted. “You just want me to cook for you!”

“Absolutely not!” Jeno protested. “Can’t I ask you if you want to eat?” Jaemin gave him a look. “…And it would be great if you could cook for me,” he amended.

Jaemin’s smile turned into a satisfied one. He heaved himself out of bed and extended a hand to Jeno. “What would you do without me, Jeno.”

Grinning, Jeno took his hand. “Starve, probably. Hyuck’s not a bad cook but he’d probably burn the kitchen down before I got to eat.” 

The smirk Donghyuck aimed at Jeno when they emerged from Jaemin’s room was absolutely devilish, and Renjun’s knowing look wasn’t much better either. 

“So…” Donghyuck singsonged. “Did you–”

Donghyuck and the groan building in Jeno’s throat were cut off when Jaemin grabbed the back of Donghyuck’s shirt and pulled the boy up, dragging him to the kitchen like a cat carrying its kitten by the scruff. 

“Hyuckie, stop being so rude–”

“Okay, okay.” 

“–such a dumbass–”

“Okay, okay.”

“–you’re gonna help me make breakfast.” 

“Okay!” 

Halfway through their meal, Jeno began to notice the looks Donghyuck and Renjun were sending each other. Renjun cocked his head to one side while Donghyuck squinted at him, then pointedly angled his head at Jeno. Renjun scrunched his face up when Donghyuck shook his head frantically, then looked at the door, to which Donghyuck responded with a satisfied nod. 

“Are you two… okay?” Jeno asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yes!” Donghyuck bolted to his feet, and Renjun followed suit. “We’re – uh – gonna go out! To campus!”

“It’s Sunday, can’t you go tomorrow?” Jaemin asked. 

“No!” Renjun objected, glancing at Donghyuck. “It’s…um…urgent!” 

“Gotta go!” Donghyuck exclaimed, making a beeline for their front door. “See you guys later!” With that he disappeared out the door, his partner in crime in tow. 

Vaguely remembering Donghyuck’s words from yesterday, Jeno wondered if their strange behavior had anything to do with the so-called plan they had mentioned yesterday, but Jeno was too used to Donghyuck’s antics to put much thought into it. 

Sending a grateful smile to the waiter, Jeno accepted the steaming bowl of jjampong while Jaemin dug in to his own newly arrived bowl of jajangmyeon. Picking up his chopsticks, Jeno took a big bite of his noodles, the piquant spice hitting his tongue. A sudden dryness overcame his mouth and his throat felt like it was closing up. Swallowing hard, a cough racked through him. 

Jaemin pushed a cup of water towards him. “Too spicy?” 

Jeno shook his head after the cough passed. “I can usually take it–” 

His words were interrupted by another fit of coughs, and Jaemin gestured towards the water more insistently. The hacking echoed in his ears, each cough making him feel like the room was tilting on its axis. 

“Are you okay?” Jaemin rested a hand over Jeno’s and the spinning of his vision slowed a bit, as if he were anchored to Jaemin. 

The bout passed again and Jeno breathed out deeply through his nose. After a drink of water, Jeno returned to his noodles, managing to take bites without his throat being attacked again. Their conversation fell back into its rhythm, the easy flow it had before Jeno had interrupted it. 

“I just think that Jisungie..."

It became hard to hear Jaemin as Jeno’s thoughts blurred over as his head began to pound. He shut his eyes briefly to focus on his breathing. The air hitched in his chest halfway through a breath and he was overwhelmed with another round of coughs. Jaemin’s eyes clouded with concern and he grasped Jeno’s hand again as he watched Jeno clutch at his chest. Jeno’s head felt fuzzy, like it was full of static. Like it was full of crackling.

Fuck.

It couldn’t be, Jaemin was right in front of him, and Mark had said his energy would cover Jeno's tracks or something complicated and nerdy like that. Yet here it was, that crackling sensation creeping over his skin, leaving him on edge. 

Heaving a breath, he choked out, “it’s the curse,” before another round of coughing attacked him. Maybe he would suffocate. Maybe that’s how he would die. 

Jaemin’s face scrunched up in concentration, a furrow burying between his brows and his teeth catching his bottom lip. The effect was instantaneous and Jeno felt magic surge around him, a certain weightlessness washing over him, like he was underwater. The crackling became muted, then subsided completely, and Jeno could breathe again. 

When Jaemin took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, Jeno could see pain in his eyes, tension drawing hard lines on his shoulders. It wasn’t fair. 

“Jaemin–”

“Don’t.” The other boy rested a hand over Jeno’s on the table and smiled, and although Jaemin’s grip was strained, Jeno could see that his smile reached his eyes. “I’m okay, Jeno.” 

Jaemin giggled when he stumbled forward, but Jeno didn’t return his laugh as he rushed to steady the other boy. He knew warding off the curse was taking its toll on Jaemin, adding so much more weight on his chest when he was already fending off problems with his control. It just wasn’t fair. But he couldn’t tell Jaemin to stop, because he would absolutely murder Jeno for telling him what to do, even when he was so drained he could barely walk. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Jaemin whined, his attempt to force levity into his voice not exactly working. “Come on! Let’s go home–"

The words trailed off on the tip of Jaemin’s tongue and Jeno watched his face freeze into something between apprehension and confusion, his gaze fixed on something over Jeno’s shoulder. 

“Jaemin!” an unfamiliar voice called out. 

When Jeno turned and saw what Jaemin had, he felt his heart drop. It was _him_. The guy at the party Jeno had seen Jaemin laughing with, the guy he had been kissing, the guy he went home with. Jeno felt his hands ball into fists. He wanted to do something, punch the guy, hold Jaemin back, run away, _anything_. But he stood frozen where he was, feet planted to the ground, unwilling to move. 

“H– hi.” Jaemin’s voice was unsteady as he frantically glanced back and forth between Jeno and the other guy, who had walked up to a mere few feet away from them. 

“I haven’t seen you all week. I had a lot of fun last time!”

_Don’t say anything. Please Jaemin_. Jeno could barely hear his thoughts over the rushing of blood in his ears, the pounding of his heart drumming loud. 

“I– I did too,” Jaemin responded quietly, barely above a whisper. 

It was getting hard to see Jaemin’s face through the haze of anger and confusion, but he saw the smile Jaemin gave the guy nice and clear. 

That was all it took. Jeno spun on his heels and all but ran down the street, ignoring the strange look the guy gave him and the helpless pleading of Jaemin’s eyes. He thought he heard Jaemin call after him, but he couldn’t be sure. 

He couldn’t believe it. He thought they’d finally gotten somewhere last night, finally understood each other. But every time Jeno thought he found solid ground with Jaemin, the other would make it crumble and he’d be falling away again. All he wanted was to be there for Jaemin – and he was! Relentlessly, no matter what the other went through, he would support him. And relentlessly, Jaemin seemed to figure out how to slip away. 

Jeno was sprinting now, bolting down the familiar streets until his feet took him towards their apartment. He probably should've slowed down, watched where he was going, unless he wanted to break his legs or get run over a car again and die to some depressing crackling. But he couldn’t bring himself to. Maybe if he was gone Jaemin would be free to be happy, he thought nonsensically. 

Was this his fault? He couldn’t make sense of his thoughts, all spinning and completely untethered to his mind, and it was so easy to blame all his problems on some nameless guy, the nameless guy kissing Jaemin in the memory burned into Jeno’s mind. 

Flinging himself out of the elevator, he blindly pushed through the apartment door and threw himself onto the couch. Renjun and Donghyuck were both out, thankfully, leaving him to die in peace. He forced himself to breathe and heaved a breath of air filled with static electricity. Maybe he really would die from the curse this time. Because why would Jaemin come back for him?

“Jeno!” 

Relief flooded him as clean air rushed into his lungs, as his head cleared and he felt hope rise in his chest. But then it all fell away, just as quick. 

“What the hell were you thinking? You can’t just storm off like that!”

“What was _I_ thinking? What the hell were _you_ thinking? I thought we’d finally gotten somewhere, then all of a sudden you’re back with your _boyfriend_?” 

Jaemin’s voice was quiet, dangerously low, but Jeno heard every word he said. “He’s not my boyfriend – he never was. And you don’t get a say in who I talk to. You don’t own me.” 

Jeno sucked in a breath and swallowed hard. His throat felt like it was tightening and the air felt like fire in him. There was a deep furrow between Jaemin’s brow and he wished it would go away, he wished they could stop fighting, but he couldn’t keep his words down. “You’re right, I don’t own you. So you can keep sleeping around with whoever you fucking like.” 

“It was _one_ guy, for god’s sake, and it was a mistake.” 

The admission should’ve calmed Jeno down, should’ve eased the clench in his heart, but he found himself unable to back down. “You didn’t seem to think it was a mistake earlier when you saw him, did you?”

Jaemin whirled on him. “You weren’t ready to be there for me so what was I supposed to do? You don’t think I would’ve wanted it to be you there with me, not some random guy at a party? Think, Jeno, _think._ ”

Yes, he should think, but all Jeno could think about was the image of another’s hands on Jaemin. “You seemed pretty ready to let him be there for you. It’s like I can never win with you – what do you want from me?” 

“You only care about what _you_ want from me. Well now that you’ve asked, I’ll tell you. I wanted to open up to you. I did. But you kept forcing me to reach out towards you, kept forcing me to lean on you, forcing me to let you care about me so that you’d feel better. Not everything needs to be done your way, Jeno, you can’t be so god damn headstrong. I–” His voice broke and a little bit of Jeno broke with it. "I need time, I’m begging you to give me time.” 

Jaemin’s words hit him like a tidal wave, each sentence like lightning over a turbulent sea. Because Jaemin was right. No matter how much Jeno wanted to blame that nameless guy at the party, Jeno knew it was his fault. 

“All I want is to be there for you and you keep pushing me away,” Jeno said, his voice cracking. His heart ached and each breath left him shaking. 

Jaemin just shook his head. His lips lifted in the slightest smile, but it didn’t quite reach his red rimmed eyes. 

As Jaemin turned around and walked away, Jeno wondered if he’d lost a little piece of his heart too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. when i first started writing this i did nOt expect it to be so aNGsTy. but hang in there for the happy ending pls!  
> thank you for reading i hope you liked it!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stars in your eyes and magic at your fingertips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last chapter! we made it!  
> i really hope you enjoy this!

The curse struck almost immediately. 

As soon as Jaemin’s back disappeared behind his door and the ripples of his magic ebbed away, the air came alive with crackling, static electricity that charged the atmosphere. It was as if the curse had always only been a half step away, creeping up on Jeno and waiting for the right moment to pounce. Well, this was that moment. 

Jeno felt his chest tighten up, pressure building until there was a solid weight pinning him down. He heaved a breath and pain shot through his chest, spider webbing up his neck and down his back like the pinpricks of needles. It wasn’t long before each pinprick became the slash of a knife. He watched the room begin to spin until the growing black spots clouding his vision forced him to close his eyes. But even with them squeezed shut, he could feel the room tilting on its axis, throwing him completely off his bearings until he was falling, falling to the ground. He landed with a thud, the sound of it barely audible to him over the rushing of blood in his ears, the erratic thumping of his heartbeat, and above it all, the overbearing crackling. 

Through it all, Jeno’s only half coherent thought was _I’m gonna die_. He was going to die and his last words would have been shouted at Jaemin. He wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to him, to Donghyuck or Renjun. _At least I won’t have to do homework_ , he told himself nonsensically before his thoughts were lost to another burst of pain. 

He wanted to call for Jaemin, he wanted to curl up into a ball and let the curse run its course – he didn’t know _what_ the hell he wanted because he couldn’t feel anything but stabs of pain. The ground fell beneath him and he had no sense of stability, the lack of it aching in bones. 

Just as Jeno was about to slip into unconsciousness, he felt a presence wash over him, like waves lapping at the shore. He forced himself to crack his eyes open and saw the hazy image of Jaemin kneeling by him. Was he imagining the panic on Jaemin’s face? Jaemin wouldn’t panic for him. Jaemin wouldn’t care, would he? Jeno gulped air into his lungs and found that it was clean, normal air that didn’t buzz in his chest. But he could feel the curse fighting its way back, straining against the current of Jaemin’s magic. Jeno suddenly became acutely aware of Jaemin’s hand resting over his chest, directly over where his heart was beating like a drum. His eyes found Jaemin’s and saw that they were clouded with pain, filled with concentration, as more and more of the other boy’s magic flowed into him. Why was he helping Jeno? He didn’t understand. 

He still didn’t understand as the crackling drew back, prowling at the edges of Jeno’s consciousness, until it finally fizzled away with one last hiss, as relief and magic and _Jaemin_ flooded his senses. 

Jaemin lifted his eyes to met Jeno’s, and there was so much meaning forced into his gaze. He didn’t say anything, but Jeno understood then. He understood as fear contorted Jaemin’s face, as the waves of the other's magic became tumultuous and crashed down. He understood as a storm began to brew over the water and Jaemin began to drown in it, hands covering his ears and eyes squeezing shut to block it all out. He understood as Jaemin’s control over his magic slipped out of his grasp. 

He understood when the torrent of magic engulfed them as the heady air rushed in, heavy and humid. Lightning and thunder threatened to crack and rumble. Jeno could feel that he was losing Jaemin to the angry ocean that broke out of his control.

He understood how the other had felt just moments earlier, because no matter how angry he had been, there wasn’t an ounce of hesitation in his whole being. It hurt him to see Jaemin like this. 

Because he couldn’t lose the boy in his arms, the boy who liked to hold his hand and hug him tight, the boy who cooked for him and splattered coke all over him because he insisted on holding the can of soda a meter above the glass, who went on bike rides with him and danced with him in the middle of the night and could finish his sentences. Because he loved him. 

And yes, it was cheesy as fuck, but the realization gave him energy that tethered him to the ground beneath. He summoned all the strength he could from the earth, the rumble of its magic familiar in his core, and used it to anchor Jaemin to him, to bring the other boy back.

Slowly, he felt the storm surrounding Jaemin dissipate, the clouds clearing as the waves calmed. Jaemin’s eyes fluttered open, lashes fanning over his cheeks, his gaze wandering for a moment before it met Jeno’s and the hard, tense lines of his shoulders fell. 

“You idiot,” Jaemin muttered. “Why didn’t you leave?” There was no bite to his comment and his eyes were soft. 

“Why would I? I couldn’t, not when you were – I’d do anything as long as you were –” Jeno cut himself off. He didn’t know how to finish that sentence. Even though he meant it so much, he didn’t know how to say it. 

“You couldn’t? What’s that supposed to mean?” Jaemin sounded small as he shrunk away from Jeno. 

Jeno reached out and caught his hand before he slipped away again. “You know what I mean.” 

Jaemin stared into Jeno’s eyes as if he were reading him, searching for meaning. They were toeing that line they always did, dancing around whatever they truly wanted to say. Jeno breathed in Jaemin’s coffee scent, that whiff of petrichor as he waited for the other to say something. There was no furrow between Jaemin’s brow, only soft edges and the quiet ripples of his magic. 

“You might have to spell it out for me,” Jaemin whispered, his eyes never leaving Jeno’s. 

Jeno’s heart skipped a beat, then raced twice as fast. It always did, he realized, when it came to Jaemin. 

“I love you.” The words came easy. 

Jaemin’s eyes flicked to his lips. Jeno didn’t know who leaned in first, but every minute detail of Jaemin’s face became clear as his face neared Jeno’s. Jeno’s eyes slipped shut as his hand rose, lightly grazing the back of Jaemin’s head before it slotted into the space where Jaemin’s jaw ended. Jeno felt the slightest tremor, the smallest shiver, and he wasn’t sure if it had been him or the other boy. And then Jaemin’s lips were on his, the barest brush, gentle, hesitant, and almost shy. It was quick, chaste. Everything else melted away until it was just Jeno and Jaemin, the two of them fitting together like puzzle pieces. 

“I love you too,” Jaemin whispered when he pulled away, his lips a scant few inches away from Jeno’s. 

Bliss washed over Jeno and flooded his body, leaving him feeling weightless like he was floating underwater. A happy buzz filled his ears, one that crescendoed into a crackling. Strange enough, this wasn’t the violent crackling of electricity he had grown used to, but the warm crackling of a fire, comforting and sincere. The crackling grew and Jeno felt the air tickle his cheek, sending tingles across his skin, before it drew back just as quick and faded away. All of it. It was gone. 

“Did you feel that?” Jaemin murmured as he rested his head on Jeno’s shoulder. 

“It’s gone. It’s gone.” Jeno had to repeat it, because he couldn’t believe his words. “The curse is gone.” He couldn’t believe it, but he knew it was true, he’d felt it. He was free. 

Jeno tilted his head to press a kiss to Jaemin’s temple and he felt Jaemin giggle beside him. 

A sudden burst of high pitched laughing – cackling, really – cut through the moment, shattering the mood. “I knew it!” Donghyuck’s voice hollered. “It worked!” 

Jeno whipped around to face the newcomer, turning so fast that Jaemin’s head dropped from his shoulder. How did he not hear their apartment door open? His stomach flipped when he saw Donghyuck’s shit eating grin and Renjun’s hand held fast over his eyes, his expression a cross between a grimace and a smirk. 

Donghyuck bounded over and slotted himself between Jeno and Jaemin, throwing an arm around each boy. “Ask me what I knew! Ask, ask!” 

Jeno sighed with a tired laugh. “What did you know?” he asked begrudgingly. 

“Well first of all, you two have had some serious sexual tension – like, it could be cut with a knife – since forever, so fucking _finally_! You did something!” he answered, his obnoxious exclamation laced with the threat that he was gonna bother Jeno until he told him _exactly_ what the fuck happened. As if Jeno himself knew. 

“Anyways,” Donghyuck continued, “due to my genius–” 

Renjun cleared his throat. 

“Due to _our_ collective genius,” he amended, “we learned that true love can break any curse. Love conquers all and all that sappy shit! So naturally we schemed and left you two alone all day.” 

“You _what–_ ”

“Shut up Jaemin,” Renjun interjected with a smug grin tugging on his lips. “It worked, didn’t it?” 

“You guys are the worst,” Jeno huffed. 

Donghyuck reached up to pat Jeno on the head. “Nah, imagine where you’d be without me.” 

“Without _us,_ ” Renjun cut in again.

“You haven’t done jack shit, Mr I-save-my-money-for-hotpot-only!” Donghyuck jumped up at lunged at Renjun on the couch, then screamed when Renjun smacked him in the face and pulled him into a headlock. 

Jeno tuned out the bickering pair when Jaemin settled his head on Jeno’s shoulder. “We’ve had quite the weekend, haven’t we?” he murmured as he tilted his head to smile up at Jeno. 

Jeno hummed in agreement. “I’d say it was worth it, baby.” 

The words came out faster than Jeno’s mind could follow, and _oh, god,_ what had he done? But when he turned his head to look at the other boy, stammering an apology, he found Jaemin smiling ear to ear, his eyes crinkling. He decided that perhaps he’d be calling Jaemin that more often.

Jeno couldn’t help but laugh. _Maybe all that bad luck led to something good eventually_ , he thought as he wrapped an arm around Jaemin and rain began to drizzle outside their window. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's it! honestly can't believe i was able to finish this mess of a fic – i tried my best :)  
> to anyone and everyone that stuck with this whole thing, i thank you endlessly and i hope you enjoyed it <3


End file.
